| Endless self promo. |
[16 Apr 2009|09:41pm] |
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mood |
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[14 Apr 2009|08:33pm] |
When I prepare for a role I pretty much get into that role. I like to put everything I have into that role, feelings, attitude everything. For my last role in Gray Gardens which is a HBO special airing sometime this month (Shameless plug?!). I was happy to use my own pain for the goodness of the role. I mean I am not the happy-go-lucky girl inside and out, I have a lot of pain built up. Some of which I'm sure I'm not fully aware of. I don't mean to make my first entry a complete downer, don't worry this story pretty much has a decent ending. Growing up I was not a happy child, I grew up very lonely and sad. I was even institutionalized as a child because of it.
This is part of the reason I emancipated myself from my parents at 17. Why I lost contact with my mother then and haven't spoken to her since. I never really had a relationship with my father, although I had contact with him just before his death. He was so feeble that I could literally pin him down with little effort. I sort of wish we had been in contact before he got sick but you know it wasn't really possible for one reason or another. But in the end our relationship was much healthier than the relationship I have with my mother today. I'm sure I have a lot of anger and resentment built up inside, but honestly I choose not to visit them.
Today even with my past far behind me, even with the challenges I've faced growing up I have managed to be something of a success. I am an actress, producer, director and I am content. I don't party much, I don't really feel the need or desire. I am happy just hanging out at home with a few friends or even by myself.
I know I have to comment to my welcome post and I'm sorry it's taking me so long. Still don't be afraid to hit me up on Whipitdrew
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